How many years have you been sitting around thinking about how you can become a better—better looking, to get your body right, your relationships right, and to get a job that you actually look forward to going to every day because you’re doing something you were meant to do in life?
Think about this now: how many days are you going to wait for life to come to you when you know that nothing in life comes easy and that only hard work pays off?
Most people have their goals completely skewed when it comes to simple living.
First, let me ask you this. Everyone we see in every ad and television show and magazine might convince us that being beautiful is our sole goal in life.
But is being beautiful our sole goal in Iife?
Or is it something more? Something more authentic?
Most of us waste our trying to make our surface stellar while the inside withers from loneliness and disrepair. We need to work on all aspects of our life in order to get the most out of life. We cannot work on our spirituality, our diet, our exercise, our health, without attending to something called mental health because if your relationships are doing damage to you emotionally—that’s a form of trauma that will just end up, eventually, causing weight gain, chronic fatigue, and even cancer, if left to fester in your life.
But most of us distract ourselves from our really important issues with thinking like this:
If I were only as beautiful as ….
As ripped as . .. .
As great an athlete as ….
A rock star like …….
After all, if you looked like these people, you tell yourself, you’d have the confidence to do so many things you cannot do yourself….as you are now…. (there are all kinds of flaws with this thinking, by the way—don’t we champion those who strive to look better and talk about how wonderful they look NOW, not how they looked before their transformation???, right?
So, all your excuses for not going to the gym because you see it filled with happy, toned, slimmer people—so you perceive, you have to realize that 80-90% of them worked for that appearance and looked just like you when they started. And everyone is there to help you get to the place they did, including ME!
Here’s what the truth is about the majority of women who come to me for help with their body:
In fact, women come to me all the time for personal training that are more attractive than the star they want to look like, they just don’t know it. When you see these starts, you must understand that you’re seeing a lot of makeup, photoshop, and airbrushing—so much of it it’s ridiculous.
Why not realize that YOU’RE the STAR of YOUR LIFE and work on finding the most attractive version of you that you can possibly create. Don’t ever want to be someone else. Become the best version of yourself you can possibly be.
Guys, you are no different. Once my male clients start to open up to me and really reveal their more painful insecurities a bit, they’ll often say something like, “I wanted to go to this one gym because there’s a girl that goes there I find so attractive, but I can’t yet. Just look at this stomach, look at all this flab. I’m not ripped or a hardbody like they are. I need a tan, man, I mean, just look at those guys that go there….”
Again, you’re assuming several things there that are hurting, not helping you. You’re assuming that people won’t be watching how you handle the journey and that that’s what will be attractive. Because drive, motivation, a willingness to be vulnerable and admit we need help—all of these are very attractive qualities.
Often, to get past these low-confidence type of stumbling blocks that steal our drive and ambition is to simply ask yourself this: “Do people have to be perfect to be attractive and fascinating?” I don’t think so, do you?
I find someone’s spirit and personality the most attractive things in the world and they make that person beautiful. Look at some people honestly we know that have been extremely famous—especially athletes like say Muhammad Ali. For all his self-congratulatory talking smack about “I’m so pretty!” Was he really a classically beautiful man or did every single thing about him make him not just beautiful but fascinating. The things he said every day you could tell he put a lot of thought and long periods of quiet time into to tap into that wisdom. Who wouldn’t want to spend time with someone who could teach them so much… yes?
At the bottom, in life, is our great journey here only about appearance? Is the one that is mean to be our special “other” –our special someone to spend our lives with –will they come into our lives attracted only by appearance? Stay fascinated only because of appearance?
I certainly hope that we are more than a product of genetics that equal a society approved pretty face, a nice body and nothing else. I personally want someone to love me for my soul, my heart, my courage, my loyalty, my intelligence, my character….these things.
You’re forgetting that everyone loves the underdog who becomes an alpha dog. That is the hero’s journey and we all want to be heroes of our own lives, don’t we?
So, I believe our main goal should be a simple one—TRY HARD EVERY SINGLE DAY TO BE A BETTER PERSON THAN YOU WERE THE DAY BEFORE.
That alone equals great progress.
Another goal—use time wisely. Time goes so fast. Just think how quickly it’s tax time again every year, trash day again every week. That’s how our years fly by. Use your gift of 24 hours every day to do at least one thing you are PROUD OF—whether it’s reading a great book to enrich your mind, improving your body, improving your diet, learning a new art, hobby, skill, subject, language, field of study ….
Because, folks, sitting around wishing our lives were better or different will never make it so.
Is romance—romantic love—our sole goal in life or is our goal really something much more lofty and noble, like the quest to understand the self and to commune with others in a way that elevates not only one another but yields such a positive exchange of spirit, ideas, and heart that you touch those around you and the world at large in a positive way . . . with grace, even?…
And most importantly, how is anything going to happen until you make it happen.
As my man, the great Tony Robbins says,
“We can change our lives. We can do, have and be exactly what we wish . . . you are the author of your own story. If you want to see change in your life, it’s up to you. If you have dreams and goals, it is up to YOU to make it happen. Taking responsibility for your life is the best choice you can make.
Have you ever looked at a millionaire and wanted to be just like them? Have you ever looked at the best in your career and thought the same? They didn’t get to where they are by wishing. They got to where they are by choices, decisions, and plenty of action.
Your quest in this great, beautiful, wide world is to discover your purpose here. And your purpose is going to be something much more earth-shattering than simply finding someone else to love. Your quest is to find great love for yourself that is borne out of great pride in your good deeds and accomplishments. Often, we get this from working on ourselves enough that we can help someone in their great quest to love themselves.
Maybe you’ll save lives in one of several kinds of ways—being a good daughter to your ailing mother….being a good mother and helping your children to believe they can do anything they want to in life….maybe saving hearts and minds by being a good doctor, teacher, counselor, or friend. Maybe by simply become the best ___________ you can be.
The best
All of these people can use their jobs for personal gain or to, say, help others succeed and feel better about themselves. In a sense, both are a win. By succeeding in life and work, you’ll be able to afford to help others more and have more free time to give love and affection to those around you or perform generous acts in your community.
A hairdresser I know designs wigs for women losing their hair to alopecia and for children and adults on chemotherapy. That’s her way of doing her part to “fill the world with a little grace” as she puts it.
You might simply go visiting the elderly at a local hospital. Take a box of chocolates. You’ll find when you go to these places these people have fascinating stories to share and are often very lonely. The first time I went I asked an attendant, “Who never has any visitors?” She said, “Pick any room.”
As ironic as it sounds, we typically cannot help others much until we are content with ourselves and have done the work we need to do on the self in order to be a good friend, a good lover, someone’s chief force of influence…..and this is because we all know somewhat instinctively that we have to get our own house in order in order to be good for anyone.
I’m not saying if you do the things I recommend in this book that you’ll necessarily meet the man or woman of your dreams and get married and live a life of splendor.
I’m saying, you WILL become so happy with yourself that you’ll be living more of a life of your dreams than you ever thought possible. Often, I’ve found, when we reach that place of pride and contentment with ourselves is when the really right people come into our lives.
So, you might just get everything you want with a little self-work.
A little soul work.
Some work on the body, mind, and soul is ideal.
Tending to our outsides keeps us healthy enough to go on and do more good things.
The world is toxic for us in so many ways and often, when we’re weak and feeling fragile, we attract the most toxic kinds of people, until our lives are consumed with toxicity, and when that happens, one can do one thing and one thing only—and this is a good course of action whenever you feel yourself in despair, danger, or surrounded by negative people, places, or things — RETREAT and WORK ON THE SELF.
What I want is to become a beacon of positively and light and to shine that around a bit to inspire others. That’s why I like personal training. I not only get to play a part in making people physically healthy but I get to motivate and help them change their lives for the better as well.
Time goes by so fast people. Just yesterday I was 19 22, 36….
Life goes in a snap of the fingers.
So, we’ll be 78 tomorrow. Carpe Diem. Seize the day!
Thoreau once said, “Most men live lives of quiet desperation.”
Do not be one of that quiet, desperate multitude. Make your mark. Every day, try to be kinder, braver, more generous, more curious, a better listener—better than you were the day before in some kind of way, and I promise, in one year your life will have changed for the better dramatically.
What happened to me when I finally started taking care of myself is that I suddenly had the time, the energy, the money, and the means to start helping others to feel better, look better, and live better lives.
I want to share with you what I learned worked for me best.
What I did was to work on every aspect of myself to see what worked best, what proved most effective, what I knew for certain could help people to build muscle, gain a quicker mind, clear up skin, fight fatigue, help access maximum energy.
And throughout the whole journey, I took very detailed notes. I used those to create my book (coming soon), with some help from friends who helped me to communicate this message in my voice, as I honed my writing style.
I hope what I learned-what helped me—can help you to improve your life and to find great happiness.
Become a shining light….then, shine it all around the world.
Love you,
Jackson Litchfield